考研英语写作 避免汉语思维和表达

何航

研究生考试中，考生用英文写作时，常常在很大程度上受到汉语的影响，写出的句子和段落总带有或多或少汉语思维和表达的痕迹。汉语和英语在思维方式和表达方式上有很大的差别。　　汉语注重以情动人，在文章的构思、措辞、修饰和意境方面偏重情感效果。许多考生受此影响，写出来的作文，更多的带有情感因素，要刻意去追求文字的感染力，而比较少的注意文章的主题和实质性的思想内容。受汉语的影响，考生的写作常常采用迂回、含蓄的方式表达，或采用口号式的方式表达。结果，主题思想的表达往往被忽视而变得很次要。
　　英语是非常注重逻辑明确的语言。英语注重文章的实质内容，讲究层层推导、表达透彻，主题和主题句处于文章非常显要的位置。如每一段的开头或者结尾，在主题句之后，总有具体和细致的举例、说明和阐释来进一步深化主题，丰富内容。
　　我们先来看一下受汉语思维和表达影响很深的一篇作文：
　　From the picture, we can see that a beautiful American girl is in traditional Chinese costume and is smiling, as if she was asking us, “Am I like a Chinese” and speaking, “ I wish Chinese people happy like me.” It shows that with the faster pace of globolization, cultural differences are shrinking.
　　Over the ages, our Chinese people have been looked down upon by foreigners. But now, they are interested in our culture, wearing our clothes. What a change! It shows that we are getting stronger and more influential. It shows that Chinese people really stand up. In this respect, what reasons do we have to look down upon ourselves, our glorious culture and long traditional?
　　With the reform, China now is becoming a great country. She is going international. Her culture, both traditional and modern, will exercise an impact on the world. Let us work hard and make that possible in the nearest future.
　　上面的文章虽然分为三段式，但每一个段落差不多都是情绪激昂的口号，没有实质性的内容，更无严密的说理和论述。这样的短文，虽然语法上并不重大差错，但因为内容空洞、缺乏逻辑而不能得到一个好的分数。
　　我们再来看一下，同样的题目，比较符合英文思维方式和表达方式的作文是怎样的:
　　This picture vividly depicts a lovely American girl dressed in traditional Chinese costume with a sweet smile on her face. She wears ribbons, earrings, necklaces and other accessories that are characteristic of the clothes of a certain Chinese minority group. Undoubtedly, the costume has added oriental glamour to her beautiful features.
　　What the picture conveys goes far beyond merely a new fashion trend. Instead, it carries cultural implications as well. The fact that people from other nations are attracted to the mysterious Chinese culture indicates that to some extent a culture can be accepted, respected, appreciated and shared internationally. In other words, one nation’s distinctive culture can become international through worldwide economic and cultural enchanges. Since the trend of globalization seems irresistible, the increasing cultural exchanges will effectively improve mutual understanding and friendship.
　　In my opinion, national culture, as a priceless spiritual treasure, should be preserved and cherished. Meanwhile there are good reasons to advocate international culture, for those ideas from other cultures, controversial or even absurd at first sight, can provide a different perspective for us to observe the world. However, when we are confronted with a different culture, we should be sensible enough to absorb its essence and resist its dark side. Only in this way can we promote cultural development positively and make our world dimensional, colorful and vigorous.
　　第一段在照片中挖掘出的细节很多，包括了“ a lovely American girl”, “traditional Chinese costume”, “sweet smile on her face”, “ribbons”, “earrings”, “accessories”, “minority group” 和“oriental glamour”, 挖掘得非常深入。
　　第二段中采用了图画作文意义阐释段的经典句型“The fact that…indicates that…”, 通过两个从句写出两到三行的复杂长句，加大了句型难度。一种文化可以被“accepted”, “respected”, “appreciated”, “shared internationally”, 句子使用了连续排比的动词，很有气势。随着论述的层层深入，逐步提到了“globalization”的概念，使得作文大气成熟，没有停留在简单文化现象的表面。
　　第三段针对两种不同文化提出了建议，其中连续两次采用了插入语结构，加大了句型难度。“取其精华，去其糟粕”的英文对应表达为“absorb its essence and resist its dark side”，用于精确。作文的结束句采用了“Only in this way can we…”的倒装结构，追求句式的丰富多变。最后强调使我们的世界“dimensional(多元化)”，“colorful(多姿多彩)”，“vigorous(充满生机)”，再次使用排比形式，使得结尾抑扬顿挫，很有节奏和气势。
　　英文的行文注重结构严谨、逻辑分明，表述方式也直截了当，重复较少。冲刺备考考生应在进行阅读和写作练习时，充分留意这些特点，并学着模仿这种思维和表达方式。
　　我们再看下面这篇短文。
　　⑴The American economic system is organized around a basically private-enterprise，market-oriented economy in which consumers largely determine what shall be produced by spending their money in the marketplace for those goods and services that they want most. ⑵ Private businessmen, striving to make profits, produce these goods and services in competition with other businessmen; and the profit motive, operating under competitive pressures, largely determines how these goods and services are produced. ⑶Thus, in the American economic system it is the demand of individual consumers, coupled with the desire of businessmen to maximize profits and the desire of individuals to maximize their incomes, that together determine what shall be produced and how resources are used to produce it.
　　⑴An important factor in a market-oriented economy is the mechanism by which consumer demands can be expressed and responded to by producers. ⑵In the American economy, this mechanism is provided by a price system, a process in which prices rise and fall in response to relative demands of consumers and supplies offered by seller-producers. ⑶If the product is in short supply relative to the demand, the price will be bid up and some consumers will be eliminated from the market. ⑷If, on the other hand, producing more of a commodity results in reducing its cost, this will tend to increase the supply offered by seller-producers, which in turn will lower the price and permit more consumers to buy the product. ⑸Thus, price is the regulating mechanism in the American economic system.
　　⑴The important factor in a private-enterprise economy is that individuals are allowed to own productive resources(private property), and they are permitted to hire labour, gain control over natural resources, and produce goods and services for sale at a profit. ⑵In the American economy, the concept of private property embraces not only the ownership of productive resources but also certain right, including the right to determine the price of a product or to make a free contract with another private individual.
　　这篇文章的第一句就开门见山，明确了主题，提出美国经济制度的特点是通过私有企业和市场导向调节作用。围绕这一主题，文章的三个段落层层展开，环环相扣，每一段落各有侧重。
　　第一段是讲私有企业受盈利动机驱使进行生产和服务，这一动机决定企业的生产和服务方式，但更重要的是，这一动机取决于消费者的需求和愿望，即市场导向。这一段的最末一句是该段的段落主题句，实际上也是全文中心思想的另一种表述方式。
　　第二段开头一句是该段的段落主题句，说明市场导向型经济的重要特点之一是它有一个价格机制，价格的上涨和下跌反映并调节消费需求。围绕这个主题句，第(2)、(3)、(4)句进一步阐述产品供需与价格浮动和消费需求的关系。
　　第三段的主题句也是该段的第一句，说明私有制企业的重要特色。该段的第二句是对主题句的进一步阐释。